http://www.idkfa.com/v3 idkfa: syndicated http://www.idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1462 I know! I usually tend to stay away from passing on the horrible email forward jokes I get, but these were pretty choice. kaiden@idkfa.com (kaiden) Mercy General Thu, 16 Dec 2010 17:33:28 -0900 http://idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1462 http://www.idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1461 These are fantastic jokes! sexretary@idkfa.com (sexretary) Mercy General Thu, 16 Dec 2010 17:12:06 -0900 http://idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1461 http://www.idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1459 A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables. It's business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head. The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head. The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man's life. "Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can't help but notice that you're obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?" So the man told his story. "A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes. "For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said 'It is done!' and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there. "For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted. "For my third wish -- and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up -- I asked for an orange for a head." A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the Green Man@idkfa.com (Green Man) Mercy General Wed, 15 Dec 2010 22:19:35 -0900 http://idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1459 http://www.idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1458 SPDCA: Anti-jokes. A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family. Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital. What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat. Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas. How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.' Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off. Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest. kaiden@idkfa.com (kaiden) Mercy General Wed, 15 Dec 2010 20:47:03 -0900 http://idkfa.com/v3/v_thread.php?thread_id=1458&msg_id=1458