Student teaching is a humbling experience.
While teaching a lesson today on the Federal Budget and expounding on Social Security to answer a student's question, I said something like:
"...so all of you that have jobs are paying into it now. Theoretically, when you're 65 1/2, you can pull out."
Thank God it was senior civics and we all sort of chortled (including my cooperating teacher) instead of having to reign in 34 freshman who still make fart noises and laugh at poo-poo jokes.
I've been working back and forth between Roi and Kwajalein, and I park the cart on Roi in the same spot each time to simplify things. The first time I came up, I drove around and then noticed a bunch of broken eggs in the back of the cart... because the pseudo-feral chickens had been using it as a nest! I felt kind of bad, but washed out the egg gunk and didn't think too much about it.
Flash forward to the next time I come up, about a week later. Driving around again, and look back: MORE EGGS. These chickens apparently like the METAL bed, which has to get like 100+F in direct sunlight. Oh well, minor chicken murder.
Flash forward to today, I'm cruising around the island doing the WWII battle tour (pretty interesting). I stop near the radars to read a sign and see this PACK of chickens hauling ass towards me (note: chickens running is just terrifying and hilarious). The gather around me, assuming I'm going to feed them - no payback, luckily. But the juveniles start looking at my sandled feet... and then start pecking. I little have to run away from juvenile chickens, it was hilarious and a little bit of karma I suppose.
They're definitely my favorite non-indigenous animal out here. I may feed them and get a video, because it's gonna be like feeding the sharks I imagine.
Soo, hows the Anchorage Job market right now? Any hints tips, leads for someone with a science background?
And yes I'm perusing the usual job sites daily.
Coworker 1: "So, at the McDonald's drive through, the lady asks me, 'Would you like anything else, sir?'"
Coworker 2: "Yeah?"
Coworker 1: "I asked her, 'Can I have some warmer weather, please?'"
Coworker 2: "Ah."
Coworker 1: "And she's like, 'What?'"
Coworker 2: "Okay?"
Coworker 1: "So I ask her again, 'Can I have some warmer weather?' And then she just laughs, and says, 'Okay, sir, have a nice day.'"
Coworker 2: "Some people can roll with the punches... some not."
Coworker 1: "I guess." (walks off, then, speaking to Coworker 3) "So, at the McDonald's drive through..."
Something a bit lighter...
There is well known within the Alaskan librarian community a specific patron. He calls various libraries and asks to have the librarian read him the list of Tom Clancy titles. And then to repeat it slower. Eventually it becomes obvious that he is "enjoying" this in a non-literary manner.
The librarians typically respond to this by hanging up on him and emailing the state librarian listserv. Over the years (he calls a few libraries over a few weeks, takes a few months off, reappears, etc) he has been reported to the state troopers. Librarians tell him that now. Personally I expect that this is not very high on the list of cases for the troopers to solve.
I guess this most recent time when he called Delta Junction he asked to be read a list of Stephen Hawking titles before the big finish with the Clancy.
No mail librarian has ever been asked this, so presumably he asks them a different cover story and calls until he gets a woman. A male Alaskan librarian made a youtube recording of himself reading the titles that could be played for this man.
Two conclusions: 1. The breadth of things to which people will pleasure themselves never ceases to amaze me. 2. Librarians and listservs and a little free time result in some amazing stuff.
Part of the reason I haven't gone back to pursue a PhD. (www.npr.org) This was evident even years ago when I was at school. A real bummer.
So I will entitle today on Kwajalein 'Pest Day'.
I think I've told Josh about how the skimmers are infested with creatures of all types, but for those who are not in the know: we installed skimmers here a couple of years back, which are housed in small wooden storage shelters (the dog houses). We turned them off back in March, and no one has touched them since. Today, I had to crack open a few to get the batteries out of them, and, holy fuck, life. Mike, you might want to stop reading here.
First thing was that every skimmer house has literally dozens of long-legged spiders enveloping everything in webbing. These spiders aren't too creepy, but you have to break through them to get anything out of the skimmer houses.
Furthermore, even to get in, you have to get past the large jumping spiders that have created nests under literally EVERY padlock. These fuckers are territorial, and were jumping at my face constantly. I even picked one up on my body somehow that rode with me on the cart for a bit until it jumped on my hand, then tried to web away by attaching an end to my wrist. Crazy fuckers.
Then, the cockroaches. Grabbed a box in one skimmer, cockroach flew out at my goddamn face. I fucking hate cockroaches.
Then, the rats. While these guys hide well, they leave their droppings EVERYWHERE. Isn't there some disease caused by inhaling rat shit?
Then, the lizards and geckos. These guys are everywhere, but they're actually rather adorable. They have this bizarro slinky run. But, never try to grab them, they just shed their tails like crazy (and the tail writhes around in super disgusting fashion). In two cases, geckos had laid eggs on the top of the door frame. I had no idea what they were (thought they were tiny bird eggs, about the size of a pinky nail), until a couple fell down and cracked. I went to grab one of the cracked eggs, and it literally EXPLODED into a fucking lizard as I touched it that did the slinky run away from me. Just insane.
Then, the flies. These guys are everywhere and impossible to kill, but at least they don't bite.
I figured the skimmer houses were a pretty sweet trail with pests, until I went to lay out on some chairs next to the public pool (to read). I get up and sit by a nearby table (to change position), when suddenly I am caught in a swarm of hornets. Note I am only in shorts, so much exposed flesh. So obviously I bail, about as fast as Josh would but minus the flailing. I look under the table and there are a dozen hornets just hanging out... and a nest in one of the cracks, that I LITERALLY RUBBED MY FUCKING LEG AGAINST. I have no idea how I wasn't stung. Fucking. Hornets.
It has been many years since I have been on here, but Erik's 30th has inspired me to get back on and share with you all my many experiences as a Law Enforcement Officer. I will warn you though alot of the stuff I deal with is pretty messed up and I deal with a ton of racist people. Viewer discretion is advised.
To kick things off, there is a guy here that is basically a white supremacist...well he is one due to the fact he has white tattooed on his left tricep and power tattooed on his right tricep, along with a german eagle with a swastika in it. He is also a diabetic but a special kind that gets 4 shots a day and takes a fast and slow acting insulin. He is a major problem within the facility and well we all wish he would literally die. He was getting he blood sugar level checked at 3:30 am and this 6'2" black male nurse wouldn't inform this inmate which his levels were and went into full dick mode (not the kind robbie likes). He was taken and put in a special holding cell and was told that he cant act that way.
His response was priceless. "It aint my fault that nigga aint white"
Necrotizing fasciitis in the Marshall Islands (www.youtube.com).
While more of an ad than anything else, I did meet this guy and was around during the time he got the infection. I WASH EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.
Your vacation is making my job much more difficult, Josh. WHO WILL I BUG TO COUNTER EVERYDAY ENNUI? WHO JOSH
Related to my asked-and-answered post:
Last night I was spraying wall texture on the nursery walls. The nozzle bit comes off the cans, so I was troubleshooting it, trying to get it to go back on.
I sprayed myself in the face. If I didn't have a VOC mask and safety glasses on, I would've got it in my nose and eyes, which means I would've had to go to the ER!
Always use correct PPE!
(Josh, walking down the stairs with full Nalgene bottle and cup of tea)
Coworker: "I don't know if one man can be trusted with that much water."
Josh: "I'm hoarding it.... For the apocalypse."
(Josh, entering the breakroom)
Coworker: "Don't look so concerned."
Josh: "Huh?"
Coworker: "They can't kill you or eat you. Well, they can kill you, but it's illegal to eat you."
(Josh, walking back from the break/coffee room)
Coworker: "It looks like you're in pain, Josh."
Josh: (focusing intently on not spilling coffee while walking down stairs) "Before the second cup of coffee, everything is pain."
I love children's librarians. They're wonderful, hardworking, dedicated, sweet souls who want to do the best possible for their patrons. They give out good intentions, sunshine, and rainbows everywhere they go.
But not a one of them should ever be allowed to handle money. I'm sorting out expense sheets. They received gift cards to various places (Costco, craft stores, general Visa cards) for program expenses. We started with ONE template and master form to track expenses on. We now have 6 forms saved in five places with six different file names and six different tracking systems. Some info is on every form. Some of it is in one or two places. Some of it is nowhere. Pulling together a year end report may take weeks. These are excel spreadsheets with many many many tabs, some created at random.
And I'm pregnant but I could use a drink.
Fortunately everyone kept all their receipts. God bless librarians who never threw anything away and happily file into labeled folders. I could just recreate entirely from receipts. Might be quicker.
This is for Josh:
A 1970s ad for computer programmers.
Source: https://twitter.com/computermuseum/status/406810708853018624/photo/1 (twitter.com)
I feel like I've aged 5 years in the last 2 weeks. I don't get paid enough for this amount of soul destruction.
/rant
\drinking
We have LEGO club at the library. We provide a theme, but in general whatever they build is good by us. Today a four year-old was building a (remarkably accurate) oil rig. Asked why and he replied "because that's where the money is".
True that. Oil money pays more of my friends salaries than not, it built the library I work in, and it pays a good portion of my husband's salary.
Of course it is possible that the kid has a mom/dad/uncle/aunt/whatever who works on an oil rig and he's been told about it and shown pictures of it as to why this person disappears for weeks at a time. But I prefer to think we're just training them up young in Alaska.
This morning, holding the door:
Lady: "Why can't it be 5 o'clock yet?"
Josh: "We can wish, but we cannot hope."
Lady: "Ah..."
In my defense, I'd only been awake for 20 minutes.
It is perhaps wrong to look up subcontracting personnel on LinkedIn when you have reason to be frustrated with them.
It does give me some comfort, however, to know that they are wearing a pirate hat and a stupid grin, and that somehow, it all makes sense.
whyyyyyyy did we spend all this money on Fonality HUD if none of our admins will use it? It makes it simple enough even I can figure out the phone system (first time ever). oh, admins.
Guys. Guys.
Its bike to work month again. And yeah I know you have like snow and shit everywhere still. Just wanted to throw it out there, get the old brain gears turnin.
