Since its repair earlier this week, the urinal in the men's bathroom makes a sad, almost War of the Worlds-esque (www.youtube.com)sound every time it flushes.

I now use that urinal almost exclusively.

Conversation in the break room:

Josh: (fills up Nalgene bottle with a portion of water from the 190F water tap, starts swishing it around)
Coworker: "You done?"
Josh: "Yeah, sure, go ahead. Just going through the sear cycle."
Coworker: "What?"
Josh: "Oh, just putting hot water in it... Someday I'll run it through the dishwasher, but for now this should be enough."
Coworker: "Ah." (starts filling up soup cup with 190F water)
Josh: (swishing water around in bottle)
Coworker: "See you out there."
Josh: "Yep."

So I need advice...the analyst we've hired to augment our team sits in the cube next to mine, and we have low cube walls. It is not uncommon for him or I to pass the lunch hour (any time from 11am to 2pm) by eating at our desks. I have no problem with the sights/smells of such.

However, I do have a problem with the sounds this generates. My coworker eats loudly. He smacks his lips together, and often eats with his mouth open. If he is shifting food bits around in his mouth, I hear every saliva laden swirl.

Might anyone have any suggestions on how I could potentially let him know that his manners at mealtimes are lacking? I'm shocked that his mother lets him make it through a meal with his current habits.

Help!

Never, under any circumstances, fly PenAir. Use Grant Air.

I have a very strong love/hate relationship with my job: I hate being in the office - I want to throw my achingly slow computer out of the window and punch people in the face until they sobbingly promise to stop being complete dumbasses. When I'm out in the field, however, I forget about all the bullshit and redtape. ahhh fieldwork, how I love thee...

Nifty places the U.S. Government has paid me to travel to:

Akutan

Unalaska/Dutch Harbor

Grayling

Kianna

Kotzebue

Noorvik

Upper and Lower Kalskag

Nome

Sand Point

Kaktovik/Demarcation Bay (in 2 weeks)

So, I think I go to Dillingham on Monday for 9 days. Still don't have tickets yet cause I still don't have confirmation from any managers.

pretty sure this cold is because I worked myself sick.

Passed my Physical Agility test, bloodwork, physical, and written test...newest memeber of the Alpine Fire Department! Along those same lines, I re-discovered muscles in my back and arms that I forgot I had after taking my PAT yesterday. Pulling a 65 lb hose reel up 3 stories sucks! Also makes me chuckle that they are going to have to special order extra small gloves for me since I swim in the smalls :)

Wishing I could leave early, perhaps I can... wishing I had ridden into work since its a nice evening, but I didn't.

Days when I don't have to slaughter the innocent get boring by 2 or 3.

(Coworker lady is dancing to something on her headphones in the break room as I walk in)

Josh: (points to ear) "What are you listening to?"
Lady: (takes out earbud) "What?"
Josh: "What is it you are listening to?"
Lady: "Oh, I think... Fergie, and somebody else."
Josh: "Ah, I don't think I've listened to them."
Lady: "I think it's a remake of a song I used to listen to... maybe Dirty Dancing?"
Josh: "Oh, from the movie?"
Lady: (blank look)
Josh: "Or... the act?"
Lady: "I don't know. I just know they do the (singing) 'It's... been... the time of my life' part, and then it gets all crazy."
Josh: "Oh, that Fergie." (walks off)

Every conversation at work.

Sometimes you think about how awesome it would be to have a nice slow day at work. Till you finish up your shit around 12:30, eat the longest lunch you feasibly can without going out and buying more food, then fight your way till quittin time without getting too bored or completely looking like you aren't doing anything useful.

I could actually leave and no one would either care, or really know... tempting. But I also want ice cream and the wife is picking me up around 3ish...

Learning a new skill/technique is fun right? This one is actually just gross, I kinda would rather not learn it this Friday.

http://www.iacuc.ucsf.edu/policies/awspretroorbitalinjection.http://www.iacuc.uc...bitalinjection.asp (www.iacuc.ucsf.edu))

I just finished 3 days of training and a 4 hour exam so that I can put CEA after my name. It stands for Certified Energy Auditor. If any of you ever deal with anyone with that certification, check to see if they are also an engineer. If they aren't, you might want to ask for a second opinion.

In the office this morning.

Coworker A: (to Coworker B) "Got my 1-C-3 free today."

("1-C-3" is key combo one uses to get the "Vanilla Mocha" coffee out of the coffee vending machine we have in our break room. It's the best that's in there. It's also just about the worst possible thing you can drink.)

Coworker B: "Oh yeah?"
Coworker A: "Yeah, they've got this thing on there, sometimes it'll give you the coffee for free, you put your dollar in, put in your selection, and it'll refund you money."
Josh: "That's, like, the most sinister psychological thing I can think of."
Coworker A: "Why's that?"
Josh: "Well, think about it. It's the exact same thing they do with slot machines: it's random, but guaranteed reward, so you have to just keep coming back, no matter how unlikely."
Coworker B: "Do people ever tell you that you just suck the fun out of everything?"
Josh: (sigh) "Yes."

I will give my first-ever professional presentation Thursday night about all the traveling I've been doing. Oh boy.

I think my last day off was two weeks ago, today.

it's always a slight bit awkward when you ask who worked on a project and the answer comes back, "You did."

Man, WHY is there a pig slaughtering bench on the marital property table? Do they really slaughter pigs in their home? Remember, friends, you have to list all your shared property worth more than $100 if you get a divorce. And your lawyer's assistant will think you're really weird.

My "Current Marketing Issues Seminar" class is going to be a serious drag. The man wouldn't stop using portmanteaus seriously. As J-Rho said on my FB post - BURN IT WITH FIRE.

However, my "Information and Communications Policy Seminar" class appears like it will be interesting. Half the class is employed in the telecommunications industry in some way, shape, or form. We had a pretty technical discussion today, and most people seemed to have the mental capability to contribute to the discussion. Yay for smart people!

Cue Homer Simpson: "I am so smart! S-M-R-T!"

Today I interacted with someone whose job title was "Base Utility Rate Manager." With a title like that, I seriously wonder what his job description is. Is this what my tax dollars are paying for? So some dude can work a damn-near useless job on government benefits and earn a pension? Seriously.

Best workplace training ever. Fire Extinguisher!

Not only was the guy doing the training slightly socially awkward but he basically did most of it in the form of anecdotes on where shit goes wrong and who in town uses what for what purposes.

The best part was we went out behind the building afterwords and got to play with some extinguishers. Granted they were water and CO2 ones. But still not bad in terms of fun at work. Apparently they don't light actual fires for us to practice putting out anymore ever since someone accidentally lit the side of a building on fire.

why is it that 90% of the mechanical equipment websites i go to, and input the exact model number in a search box, and the website comes back and says " search returns no results," yet I can browse menus to find an O&M manual or spec sheet on the model number i just inputted? fix your search function!

Spent the whole weekend refereeing or playing soccer or working on homework. Turned in the homework at 3am Monday morning.

In a client meeting by 9am Monday morning, forced myself to be a good, helpful, attentive consultant.

Double workload this week because I got pulled off my usual tasks last week to help someone else.

4 hours of class tonight that will include 3 presentations by me.

I'm already a pot and a half of coffee into today. The rest of this week doesn't look like it's slowing down.

Somewhere I have to find the time to look for a house to buy, clean my house for the contractors coming to replace the water heater and furnace, winterize my BBQ and deck, and mow the lawn. And put studded tires on the truck.

I could use a significant other to help with all this. Two people working on things is always more helpful than one.

This is the third time I'm restarting this work for you. This is even after the fourth time I've come to you for clarification/ checking in. Thanks for that, especially since I dropped everything I was doing to help you try to make your deadline.

I'm was having a demo done in the lab today on a new assay that could potentially save us hours on a routine thing we do. It was not a complete disaster but almost made me bust out beers at noon and get as hammered as I could before continueing to trouble shoot further.

One, there is this guy here who wants to know how exactly everything works. And asks a million questions that really serve no real purpose other than, shit I don't even know. It just complicates the hell out of any regular situation.

And two, the machine we just got to demo the new assay wasn't even set up by the tech who brought it in... to do the damn assay. So I had to fight with software updates and pulling random filters and shit out of the machine to manually enter shit into the computer by hand.

Tired from the struggle, need a beer now.