I'm at least two years behind on this, I think, but Braid (braid-game.com) is a pretty amazing game. The entire game mechanic is based on going backwards and forwards in time, or slowing time down in order to solve puzzles. All of the puzzles are extremely clever, and some are damn near impossible.
Probably what struck me most was that it also has a compelling, albeit short story to it that plays extremely well into providing a narrative to what would otherwise be repeatedly making you feel not smart enough.
If you've wanted to check it out, please do. It's well worth the time and money.
Fun cover of Jonathan Coulton's "Skullcrusher Mountain": http://carolinemart...alled-skullcrusher (carolinemartin.tumblr.com)
There is some justice in this world.
Wait.
No.
NO.
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Put my glasses on, Im out the door - Im gonna hit this city.
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I aint coming back
Im talking - pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-toping, playing our favorite cds
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy
Don[t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh
Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but Im already here
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
Im talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Now, now - we goin til they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us -
DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
You got me now
You gotta that sound
Yea, you got me
DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
Get your hands up
Put your hands up
No, the party dont start until I walk in
Also, I like the idea that the site is "all broken."
There are 238,051 characters that make up the codebase for idkfa. The fix for this involved deleting 4 characters, and adding 40.
Let's treat idkfa like a mechanical piece of machinery, with the source code characters as mechanical pieces that, warp, tear, or otherwise change, or exhibit a manufacturing defect and can potentially break.
That means that if one of 238,051 characters "breaks," that is, change to any character except the one it is currently, then we'll consider idkfa broken.
There are 128 potential values for a given character. And that means that there are 127 wrong characters a given character can be.
127^(238051) = 3.798*(10^513) ways that idkfa can be broken.
Just be glad I found the exact right character sequence.
Making slight modifications to the user interface.
The search output was pretty messy, in that what was supposed to be returned as tabular data was just a wall of text. Now things like user images, user names, and discussion are aligned, and provide arguably better framing around the message excerpts.
Also, if you've read all of your posts, you are rewarded with a slightly cleaner list of Discussion Areas (no longer just puts a bunch of empty boxes at the end).
Some people just don't have as much fun as I do at work:
From:xxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 11:12 AM
To: Erik S. Dahl
Subject: RE: REMINDER - POTLUCK tomorrow
Okay
From:Erik S. Dahl
Sent: Tuesday, December 21, 2010 11:10 AM
To: xxxxxxx
Subject: RE: REMINDER - POTLUCK tomorrow
I’ll bring some more cheese and crackers. Never too many cheese and crackers… right? Right??
The bad people might get us.
Actually, I've been seeing lately where web indexers will index pages regardless of my explicit declaration that I don't want them going into some subdirectories.
A while ago I made all of idkfa (hopefully) invisible to all but human users. However, I still wouldn't want to deal with anybody's coworkers who don't appreciate being discussed on the Internet.
Let me start by saying I thought Black Swan was a really good movie. However, it is not a movie you will want to see twice just because the degradation of the main character is rather uncomfortable. But in terms of 2010 movies, this definitely ranks up at the top for me. There have been a couple of times this year that I have seen dramas with friends where I thought it was a pretty good movie, but other responses include, "I just wasn't into it." Respectable opinion, and one that leads to Transformers always lapping the profits of these movies by an order of magnitude. Plus I acknowledge I'm more into movies than most.
But it does beg the question, what movies in the DRAMA category do you enjoy the most? Why?
The drama genre, and more specifically, tragedy, seems intent to shove our humanity right into plain sight. Sort of like science fiction, but with less quantifiable awesome.
If I remember much from high school English, tragedy aims at catharsis, both of the characters, but also of the audience. They were supposed to bring you down so far that when you walked away, the simplistic drudgery of your normal daily life was supposed to seem like the best thing ever.
Now we live in an arguably post-scarcity culture, where instant gratification is the norm. Fist-pounding brosefs want to see Transformer testicles and egregious light saber battles. Reflection and introspection is synonymous with feeling bad, and isn't considered entertainment.
At least that's why I think dramas don't sell well.
Perusing the drama lists over at IMDB, in no good order, here's the ones I'm a fan of (even if they're only marginally dramatic):
(First numbers are the IMDB Top 250 ratings, second are the years).
Depressingly, I took off "The Seven Samurai." Both age and culture boundaries were too much, I suppose. The ending ("The farmers have won. We have lost. ") is supposed to be what gets you in the end, but in failing to relate to the characters, I didn't feel for their tragedy despite having successfully defended their village.
The others above, though, are pretty flawless.
Argh, I had a list but it disappeared.. Gravestones!!! Gravestones!!!!
Here's a quick blurb on what was it in:
Most of these are about loss, with drugs thrown into the mix for good measure :P All tend to break the titular character down into a mess of grovelling guts..
Dramas are way up there on my list of movies I like to watch.. while they aren't nearly as easy to watch as a B movie, I enjoy the life lessons of them. I tend to get too invested in them though so can't watch them that often.
I don't really see why scifi has to be excluded or a mitigating factor when considering drama. I will probably get the words wrong in describing this, but it seems drama has more to do with how the story unfolds while science fiction is just a backdrop or perhaps a theme. A context in which the story unfolds. They should not be mutually exclusive.
Dramas I have enjoyed:
Shawshank Redemption
Garden State
Crash
Into the Wild
The Social Network
Big Fish
Truman Show
I tried to stick to ones that didn't have action sequences to drive the audience's attention. I'm kind of with Lee on this category, these are the ones I felt emotionally invested in when watching them the first time in the theater. In trying to find similarities, I would probably say great acting performances drove a lot of these to be great movies rather than simply story or film direction. I will forever think Jim Carrey got screwed for not picking up an Oscar nod for Truman Show. I thought it was an ingenious combination of comedy and drama.
Is Garden State a drama? Is Truman Show? Is Big Fish? I'm skeptical about the definition. Dark Knight is more of a drama than any of those, I'd say, regardless of action sequences (although I understand why you left it out, given your caveat). Just because a movie isn't straight comedy doesn't make it drama.
Some of my favorite dramas:
First Contact
Generations
The Wrath of Khan
Insurrection
The One With the Whales
Nemesis
Love you!
To be fair, I wasn't totally joking. I mean, drama is a pretty ill formed category. Also, I haven't seen Black Swan, but if it is like Aronofsky's other films it would be, like you said, a really, really great film that I never want to have to watch again.
And on that tip, Requiem for a Dream is one of my favorite dramas, but I never ever want to see it again.
A conversation I just had with my sister:
Me: "What are some of your favorite dramas?"
Her: "Uh... Well, Schindler's List."
Me: "That's what I keep thinking too!"
Her: "Meh, I never saw it."
For the record, I thought Schindler's List was over the top.
What about Fight Club? Momento? Do those count? Eternal Sunshine comes to mind. I watch American Beauty about once a year, and I almost never rewatch films.
Can we consider the Step Up franchise drama? I mean, besides the dancing. Because I found Step Up 2: The Streets pretty compelling.
Josh and I had this conversation the other day. Basically any good movie must have some elements of drama in them to carry a plot/suspense. Otherwise you're left with nothing.. It doesn't have to have language i.e. The Bear (www.imdb.com), but it needs drama.
I mean, black and white, really? It was like every choice was made to deliberately pull heartstrings, regardless of how it helped tell the story. I don't think it was a bad film necessarily, but all the stuff at the end in present day was just superfluous, unnecessary, and gave people another 10 minutes to ball their eyes out in a dark theatre.
Fair enough, though to a certain degree it kinda gets me in the mood to watch movies from a particular 20th century era filmed in the likeness of movies from the era, not that I can think of other movies that do stuff like that, but anyway a nice touch. The end I will agree on the bits with the survivors was a bit much, though some holocaust survivors probably have a different view of it.
If nothing else it was a nice change for Spielburg and he did a pretty decent job of it considering the last film he had directed before Schindler was Jurassic Park.
I like drama movies. More than pure comedies most any day. But a mix of comeday and drama can also be fun. For dramas, I like things like:
The Wrestler
The Godfather
Letters from Iwo Jima
Unforgiven
Million Dollar Baby
Mystic River... alright, most any movie Clint Eastwood has directed lately
I also like dramatic documentaries, like:
Anvil: The Story of Anvil
I also like challenging dramas, like:
Dogville (never want to see it again)
Really, if you can relate to characters, or the plot can make you think... then the movie has succeeded.
I can't believe it took 19 posts for someone to say The Social Network- props Ashley. And yes, I drug my finger down the screen counting responses. Pure dramas are hard to find- you know, movies without some sort of fantasy twist, or ones that are too close to a comedy to count. Yes John, I'm talking about The Life Aquatic. I'll do my best.
Se7en - Because I love the squirmy stuff. This really is more of a thriller; I won't count it.
1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee = good drama. Gregory Peck = bad ass.
2. In the Heat of the Night - Black man slapping a white man. I guess I'm a sucker for the classics.
3. Forest Gump - Also a sucker for Tom Hanks.
4. Almost Famous - Don't tell me the Tiny-Dancer-on-the-bus scene doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy every time you watch it.
5. The Social Network - Both entertaining and dramatic- I think it IS possible to have both. But it appeals to my generation, so I am biased.
6. Mulholland Dr. - Just kidding. F that movie. F it in the A.
Good call on "In the Heat of the Night."
"The Social Network," didn't ring my drama bell. The script was well written, and the characters relatable enough, but it's presentation as a... bi-o-pic... sort of set it apart from what I would normally classify as drama. The premise that "these are real people" kept me from suspending my disbelief in the more "dramatic" scenes.
I'll stress, though: not a bad movie.
So I'm at a Fred Meyer, working as a shoe salesman. This Fred Meyer is located in a mall that is very similar in appearance the the Dimond Center. It's my first day. There are two other dudes that work there, along with the boss, who is an older Asian woman. The shoes we're selling are in a shop, which is set up much like the optical shops that really exist at Fred Meyer.
One of the other workers is training me on this device that measures your body and pressure points, and recommends shoes for you. It is pretty complicated, involving many straps and button/lever manipulation. I am distracted because there is a hockey game in the middle of the mall that is surrounded by much hoopla. I go outside to check out the game, at which 'our' team scores. Everyone is celebrating, and much to my surprise, there is a hobby shop nearby that is handing something out every time 'our' team scores. I run in to discover that the prize is self made Magic: The Gathering booster packs, containing many old school cards that are worth money.
I go back to the shoe shop and get yelled at my Asian boss for leaving, at which point I try to help a black kid find some shoes - he wants the exact kind he has now, but a bigger size. He has size 6's but he needs size 9 because his feet have grown. As I'm (unsuccessfully) trying to find his shoe size, 'our' team scores again, so I rush out of the shoe shop and back to the hobby store to collect my MGT cards, which they are happily handing out to anyone. I dread going back to the shoe store, because the Asian woman had said she would fire me if I left again.
I wake up at Libby yelling at me, asking me why I didn't wake her up (we both overslept).
December 18th Show
I was pretty happy with how the show went. It was exciting to host again as this is one of my favorite spots to be in for an improv show. The crowd was particularly awesome and thanks to all of our friends who came out and supported us. I think the players fed off the crowd's energy and stepped up as well. Something I am very proud of is that I was harping on hosting for the last six months to both troupe members / friends and I felt I demonstrated the point in this show.
My comments have to come with a disclaimer, because I was distracted by games list, lights, navigating pathways and thinking of things to say for the next intro. All things considered, though, I still think there were a few items worth mentioning. I won't seriously rate the show because I did not perform or watch closely. If you asked me to blindly guess, I would say 7/10.
On the logistical side there needs to be dedicated box office and lights that are internal to the troupe. Eric's sister is awesome for helping us out, but if we want to continue starting on time, the box office has to miss 10-15 minutes of the show and I don't think it is fair to her and we won't be able to count on her every time. My vision would be for someone in the troupe to sit out a show on rotation and do box office and then come in for lights (assuming we stay in the same type of venues). Also on logistics, there needs to be something better for the introduction between lights down and host up. Something needs to drive people to want someone on stage, which is usually music, but our technical capabilities are limiting. Finally, the packed house made staging off stage difficult. Pop-Up story book shouldn't have been told facing away from the audience.
As for the improv itself, I think better energy and better audience participation improved the quality. However, I still think we suffer in our scene games (limited for this show, moving bodies and freudian slips being an example) from lack of clear direction. Favorites of the night were 3 Headed Santa, Family Dinner and Stand Ins. I also might be breaking down on my singing comments because both songs went well this show too. Worst was by far Improv Mash Up. I had too much stuff to do to set it up and when I was going to take time to explain the 3 games (1-3-5, switch to the right and super heroes) while the troupe was working it, I looked back to find three people ready to go. Also, it was a miracle I remembered to call switch to the right half way through the game. But, it is a dangerous game and sometimes you hit it, sometimes you don't. I just think the three games meshed well with Super Heroes being the foundation game.
Mad props to Erik having a great show for a crowd full of people that knew him. I know I struggle in this regard and he whooped some ass. A stronger performer by the day.
Comments, thoughts?
I keep meaning to grab the game list, but I always forget, and, therefore, always forget the games list. Blarg.
I thought it was a better show than we've been having, but part of that was because the audience was ridiculously good, so it's hard to focus on what went wrong, because they pretty much enjoyed everything. But I think energy was up, and that it was more enjoyable than the past few shows.
I'll agree that the mash-up failed pretty hard, but, man, that was a tough game! I still think it was cool to try it, even if it went like Icarus.
I think that having dedicated people out front is what should be happening, and I'm surprised that Eric's sister has been as generous as she has. There were far too many people on the stage, which was disappointing because I only got like, 5 games or something. In that regard, I was PISSED when I heard that Jason was allowing Charlie to guest in the show, but my anger quickly dissapated as he rocked the games he was in! He was a great team player, and it was enjoyable. There were still far too many people in the show, though.
One observation: Warren did well this show. Dunno if it was the holiday spirit or what, but he wasn't negative and such like he has been in the past.
In regards to "However, I still think we suffer in our scene games (limited for this show, moving bodies and freudian slips being an example) from lack of clear direction." - what do you mean, exactly? I was in it, and I can tell you that I've noticed I have an issue with 'forcing it'. Like, I'm in these scenes that aren't going anywere, and I try to force it to go somewhere (last show, this was what happened with New Choice with Rich). I put out an offer immediately, which was Joe Miller is trying to get a deal with the devil. Then the scene turned into a talking heads sort of thing, so I tried to force it to go somewhere. I started forcing an objective, and eventually brought someone else in. I'm not sure what I can do to avoid this. And I don't know if it's blatantly obvious that I'm doing this, or how much the scenes suck, because I haven't watched a replay - but really, I'm just trying to take things in a more interesting direction, and what seems to be happening is that I'm taking too long and the scenes get cut off.
And fucking Family Dinner. If I am an animal again for that goddamned game, imma KILLLLZZZZZZZ. Although, that's about the only thing I got compliments for, so, well, fuck life. I hate dogs.
Thanks for the compliment, John; you rocked the hosting, especially since it's been so long for you. It is a good role for you (not that you're bad at scenes or anything).
Yeah, I grabbed a scene set up for slips that was suppose to involve Joe Miller. You did a great job by setting up Joe Miller in hell. But did he die and go to hell? Did the devil come up and offer him a deal? Did the devil transport him to hell to make a deal? What was the deal? Could the scene have gone beyond the deal to the consequences of the transaction? When I say clear direction, I just mean the set up didn't go anywhere. Also, you'll notice I never say that specific players cause this. We all do this, I took this note for myself in moving bodies when I played last time. You get so caught up in what the audience wants to hear you start losing track of playing out the scene you set up. Most of the time it gets a good laugh, but the true skill is getting a laugh from the story rather than the line. Also, I'm not harping on choices, just using them as an example. Rather than inject more description of what is going on, why not, in this scene, loudly say, "THE DEAL HAS BEEN MADE, I SEND YOU BACK TO EARTH!" and just exit the stage. That is a clear movement forward, also gives opportunities for more players to get involved. Just an example. I think we shouldn't be afraid of using large transitions more often if we feel the scene has played it's course in the current environment.
Warren did do well. Perhaps because he had nothing to focus on other than his performance? His panda was one of my highlights
I'm sorry you got such uproarious laughter for your performance in Family Dinner. Next time you can be one of the other five characters that odds are no one really notices or laughs at.
COME ON, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT FOR THE GOOD AUDIENCE!!! And after that awesome compliment, all I get is that role fits you.
Also, I disagree with you on the stage being too full, I think you just didn't like only playing 5 games. The max people on stage were 6 at the very end. I would say you should look at it the other way. You played Family Dinner, Freudian Slips, Try that on for Size, 12 days of Christmas, and The Dating Game. I didn't have a slip of paper just now to remind me of the games which means you must of done well in the show overall and had a performance that makes you memorable in the audience's mind. I say take the win. I'm a less games less opportunity to fail rather than a more games, more opportunity to shine type of guy...
I'd agree with you both. I thought the show overall was a good show. I'm not sure what it was in the beginning though, I just wasn't into it right away. It very much could have been me, but there was a certain point where I got invested into it (I know those because I put my Words With Friends away :P) I do remember the Try This on For Size as being good.
Also Erik brought up a point about not watching the replay. Are the shows taped to go back over? I think that's an excellent idea. I know I saw someone using a iphone to record in the back for a little while, but I don't know if that'd be good enough for the viewing. I also think the one's Erik were in were some of the highlights of the show. I'm pretty sure every girl there wanted to pick him up and take him home as a pet :P
As for the Freudian slip one, it did seem like it was going nowhere and it was probably for the best that it ended. I'm just saying you guys have done it better before. Oh, while I'm giving out constructive criticism, I think as the narrator, John you should have explained what the 1-3-5 meant. I spent most of that time counting syllables to see if that was what it meant.
Yeah, bigger transitions are something we should probably start practicing... or rather just doing more long-form type stuff. I'm starting to think that could probably help our short form, since it's difficult to focus on pure improv in short form games. And I think that is something I struggle with, and it comes out forced... I just keep handing the ball back to the other player, instead of grabbing their hand and bringing them along.
Yeah, Family Dinner. I guess doing all these damned animals has made it a little less horrible, animals have always been a pet peeve of mine... but really, you can put just as much improv into that, if not more, than just doing a funny/witty character.
I did compliment you, good sir. Saying you did a good job is a compliment. If you'd like me to elaborate more, I'd say that you did one of the best hosting jobs in recent memory. I would also say you did a good job of keeping the energy consistent throughout the show. I mean, the real test would have been the previous show. I'm sure you would have done a million times better than Warren, in any case.
When I said, "There's too many people on stage", I included the back stage. We should be benching some folks at every show, keep it to around 6 people total. That way, you get a real improv workout during the show. But I guess the main complaint is that I would like to play more games. And, actually, the max people on stage was for Popup Story Book (everyone). But I hogged the shit out of that game... because I wanted more games! That sort of thinking is what I don't like, which, I know I shouldn't have... but when people from my work show up to see me, I want to give them as much stage time as I can!
Not sure if I have much more to add, but I enjoyed the show a whole lot. Probably the strongest game of Hijackers I've ever seen. And I didn't even have my usual revulsion towards the guessing games.
Things I was thinking during the show:
Also, this was a great show for your coworkers at BP to see. I would hope you folks snagged a few returning customers, or at least, gained some word of mouth... words in their mouths... I'm done.
So it turns out that I had the Abomidable Snow Man wrong, afterall (since you mentioned guessing games). Turns out that in the cartoon, they attacked him. And knocked him out. AND RIPPED ALL OF HIS TEETH OUT. And then he was their friend later, for some strange reason. That's so much more fucked up.
Your first point is interesting, I didn't notice it that much. What I noticed was that the audience was asking the questions, which I liked.
Your second point I like. Trevor was making most of that up... the asshole!
Your third point is actually talking about Moving Bodies. I don't like that game much either, which is why I don't play it, but I thought that John handled that drunk woman quite well. Which was probably the most hilarious part of the scene.
Also, the first paragraph of this point reminds me of a Professor Brothers episode:
"Turns out I was in a Sharper Image. Turns out, I had a hard-on. Turns out, no one cared."
So I've been tinkering with another project.
In going to school for programming for a number of years, it was always a big pain in the ass to show people code examples. Email seemed heavy handed, and IM never quite seemed to be the right format (computer code generally has more viewing window size restrictions than English). Neither were that quick or convenient, and both introduced problems in how one had to copy and paste code segments into email and/or IM conversations.
Having the need to do more code snippet passing, I've put together something to address this: http://idkfa.com/paste/index.php
It's a simple function: it stores up to 10,000 characters in a file. Whenever you hit "paste," it overwrites that file. However, if that file has been updated since you last accessed the page, it'll let you know that there's been a change/conflict, and show you the differences between the existing page and the page you're trying to paste.
It's got kinks, and isn't super elegant, but it's something useful if you're just wanting to quickly pass some text and you want that text to remain unmolested by its fonts, bounding boxes, email clients, or transfer protocols.
(A site exists at http://pastie.org/ (pastie.org) that does about the same thing. However, it works the same way that imgur or other image hosting services in that you're given your own URL to deal with as you see fit. My "paste" application is not that sophisticated. It's one paste, one user at a time.)
We re-watched the original Tron and then went to see it during the midnight showing with a large group of other nerd friends. The event that it ended up being was quite fun. And the movie itself was definitely enjoyable and aesthetically pleasing to watch. Though, I felt the story line did leave a bit to be desired. I understand it is scifi and one has to be willing to accept the tissue thin reality that goes along with watching a movie about a man who is running around in a computer program. But I felt like there were a few components to the plot that could have been a bit tighter. When we walked out, every one of us kept asking what the "iso's" really were. We didn't understand. Can anyone here explain that to me?
Spoiler Alert, in case you haven't seen it...
On a side note, I really thought it would be amusing if when they got out at the end, she actually turned out to just be a computer chip or memory chip. haha. I guess that's just my twisted humor.
Spoiler Alert:
The "isos" were the weakest part of the film for me. Well, one of the weakest parts. They're pretty much entirely the reason why I tell people that Tron: Legacy really isn't about computers at all. The isos were a plot device that made no sense. Programs that are somehow created spontaneously without interaction, foreknowledge, or action on the part of the programmer?
It's the exact same thing they did in I, Robot, with the "random bits of code." They wanted a magical explanation to spoon-feed to audiences that at once would hand-wave any non-technical questions ("Why would a robot have feelings?") and also sidestepping any technically pertinent questions ("What purpose would feelings serve in a robot?").
To me, it's like the writers were saying "We don't know either."
Spoiler Alert...
I felt the exact same way. He kept saying that he found them there in that "land" or whatever inside the computer. But how would he find something already existing within something that didn't exist until he created it? And then to add to that confusion... At the end when he clapped his hands and made the entire computer world disappear, what was left behind looked like a deserted planet. Meaning there was a land there before he created that world. Which again doesn't make sense. I think this whole issue was the main thing that felt lacking in the movie to me.
Otherwise... I did think it was a fun movie to watch if you weren't expecting a tight plot line. haha.
Spoiler Alert:
More from the Penny Arcade guys:
Other thoughts I had:
Gah. The more I think about this film, the more I just fed up with its frayed ends.
Fun guest strip week over at Dresden Codak. Particularly like this one: http://dresdencodak...16/kc-guest-comic/ (dresdencodak.com)
SPDCA: Anti-jokes.
A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.
What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.
It's business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head.
The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head.
The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man's life.
"Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can't help but notice that you're obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?"
So the man told his story.
"A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes.
"For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said 'It is done!' and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there.
"For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted.
"For my third wish -- and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up -- I asked for an orange for a head."
A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender finds this very peculiar and realizes he is dreaming. He then wakes up and tells his wife about the ridiculous dream he just had. His wife just ignores him, he rolls over and starts to sob because he knows his marriage is in shambles.
Yo momma is so fat her obesity will most certainly lead to serious health complications.
What's the worst part about two black guys going over a cliff in a van?
They were my friends.
I don't know if anybody really gets any value out of the stuff I write here, but I think it's important, and interesting, and good to know if you're interested in the nature of the Internet.
In recent years, a service called Twitter introduced a message distribution system that lets people send short messages over the internet to people who have subscribed to those messages. By short, I mean 160 or so characters. The overall quality of information one can transmit in 160 characters has been a criticism of the service, but people continue to use it in the interest of having access to short thoughts from their friends, politicians, celebrities, and a number of businesses who find interesting ways to use the service.
Out of Twitter came the necessity for URL shortening services. URLs (e.g., http://idkfa.com) (idkfa.com)) are human readable "resource location" addresses, or at least, were initially designed to be human readable. Their initial intention was to define a) the protocol over which you were accessing a file, b) the host which was supposed to serve you the file, and c) the resource location on that host of where you expect to find that file. Most web sites only make you memorize the host name, providing default pages at the "/" resource location, and most web browsers don't require you to enter in the http://. Even if efforts are made to make it easier for humans to enter URLs (bookmarks, URL completion), there's still the problem that most URLs (after they've been "helped" by the computer) are much longer than 160 characters (even much, much longer for sophisticated and intricate web applications).
Thus, Internet companies invented URL shortening services. These services would take a long url (say, http://idkfa.com/v3...id=1&msg_id=1) and turn it into something like http://bit.ly/g3WVDN (bit.ly) (from 54 characters down to 21).
If a person clicks on the bit.ly link, they are taken to the bit.ly web site, which then redirects them to the longer URL you intended. This is ideal when you are trying to provide both a comment on something, and then a link to what you're commenting on in your limited 160 character Twitter message.
Now, in almost all Twitter clients, *all* of your URLs are shortened automatically, even when it's not necessary in order to fit in the 160 character mark.
However, the concept of URL shortening is not altogether altruistic. Every time you click on a "shortened" link, you access an unrelated site first before you're redirected to the content you're actually interested in. Why is this bad, Josh? Do the URL shortening services try to send you to the wrong place? Do they try to forward you to viruses, or other malicious content?
Not in the least. Their entire livelihood in running a free service is being reliable, accurate, and trustworthy. And because the system is so simple, it takes almost nothing to switch from one URL shortening service to another. The URL shortening business is a business in hopes that you maintain a habit.
So how, then, does a URL shortening business make money? Particularly, the large services, for which huge amounts of bandwidth are passed through for absolutely no cost to the users? How do they keep the lights on?
They do so by identifying trends. That is, on their side of things, they have a massive database of URLs that people are clicking on. And based on those URLS, they have identify patterns in usage. Things like:
It is essentially free, accurate, and real-time market research for anyone who wants to buy it. The information tends to be anonymous, and thus, generally has no personally identifiable information associated with it to get into sticky privacy messes. It's a data mining treasure trove.
Businesses have of course caught on. The original URL shorteners are now competing with companies like Facebook (their fb.me service). It's a subtle, but pretty lucrative market. And it's all for the ability to identify trends before people realize they're trends in the first place.
What's more fun is that this is completely old-hat, in terms of companies using "clicks" or recording usage to get data. Search companies like Google and Yahoo have been identifying trends since they realized how accurately people's search terms correlated to various social, economic, and political trends.
The Internet is a weird and scary place. And the big players on the Internet know exactly what you're thinking.
"20 Years of Commander Keen"
http://games.slashdot.org/story/10/12/15/0746225/20-Years-of-Commander-Keen (games.slashdot.org)
Commander Keen and its sequels were some of the first video games I played as a child. They were pretty engaging, particularly for a 5-year-old, and while frustrating for somebody with fledgling gamer dexterity, still kept me pretty interested at a time in my life when I couldn't sit still.
"FBI Alleged To Have Backdoored OpenBSD's IPSEC Stack"
http://bsd.slashdot.org/story/10/12/15/004235/FBI-Alleged-To-Have-Backdoored-OpenBSDs-IPSEC-Stack (bsd.slashdot.org)
Aggrajag and Mortimer.CA, among others, wrote to inform us that Theo de Raadt has made public an email sent to him by Gregory Perry, who worked on the OpenBSD crypto framework a decade ago. The claim is that the FBI paid contractors to insert backdoors (marc.info) into OpenBSD's IPSEC stack. Mr. Perry is coming forward now that his NDA with the FBI has expired. The code was originally added ten years ago, and over that time has changed quite a bit, "so it is unclear what the true impact of these allegations are" says Mr. de Raadt. He added: "Since we had the first IPSEC stack available for free, large parts of the code are now found in many other projects/products." (Freeswan and Openswan are not based on this code (twitter.com).)
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This is a little crazy. These are simply allegations, and have yet to be verified, but the mere accusation is devastating.
IPSEC is a way to secure communications on internal organizational networks, as well as provide access over secure remote connections to an internal IPSEC connection.
This means that the FBI has potentially had access (via hidden backdoors) to all IPSEC traffic for the last 10 years on systems that run the OpenBSD operating system. OpenBSD is one of a number of open source systems that are used in large deployment networks, specifically in VPN appliances that support IPSEC.
This means that companies who relied on IPSEC as a secure means of communicating on their internal network can no longer be certain that their internal network is invulnerable to potential traffic sniffing. It also puts the spotlight on all open source software that may have borrowed source code from the OpenBSD IPSEC software libraries.
Had a couple of hours to kill, so I looked into a new project. I had a conversation where people were talking about what they would do if their house was broken into (what was actually valuable, what would be replaceable, what wouldn't, etc.). Computers were pretty high on the list of "things that were valuable," for the reason that they often stored things like tax information, usernames and passwords, etc.
As usual with conversations, if I find something computationally interesting, my inner programmer surfaces and pushes my higher functions to a lower priority.
I started thinking about what it would take to deter theft of computers. Or, well, not so much deter, but give the possibility of reclamation in the event that somebody steals your devices. This essentially means programming intelligence into your computers for them to realize:
In any of these events, it's relatively trivial to have your computer do things like dial into a server on the Internet, feed it information necessary to a) locate its current network, b) give information on what the computer is connected to, and c) give information on the internals of the network. You could even go so far as to ask the computer to tell you what wireless networks are available. And all of this information would be able to be collected in seconds, and would be barely noticeable in terms of bandwidth used.
The prototype I have drawn up works only on Mac/Linux, but could pretty easily be drawn up on the Windows side of things.
Does anybody have experience with this? Or, have you had your computer stolen, and wished there was something on your computer that would have been able to react accordingly?
In addition, does anybody have any thoughts on how to thwart theft if the thief is savvy, and they are aware that the computer might try to dial out and contact somebody? Nothing is stopping somebody from just ripping out the hard drive. I'm just curious, past maybe a BIOS password, what one could do in this case.
/thinking aloud
when i went to denver in july, we stayed at a ranch. since it was very rural, they had problems with bears and raccoons and other critters who were interested in the dumpsters. their innovative solution was to buy an electric fence energizer, crank the voltage to maximum, and connect it to the dumpster. maybe fashion something similar for a computer?
SPDCA: So I haven't really touched this project since I wrote this some months ago. Last I worked on it, I had figured out how to efficiently and inconspicuously send information about the computer, programs running on it, the basic topology of the network it's running on, and the hardware addresses of the computers directly connected to the laptop.
And then I set to do this every 2 minutes. Then I pretty much forgot about it.
Poking around some last week, I had occasion to notice that the database storing this information was reaching 1 gigabyte. Which is incredible, and sort of bad in that this was accomplished by only two computers running the same script in a few months time. I have a scalability problem.
On the other hand: I have so much data to play with.
For instance: I've always been interested (and have also dreaded) to know how much time I spend at home on the computer on a given day. I know the answer is "too much," but these types of things are best quantified before they are addressed.
The following is a report I was able to generate using my theft deterrent data set. It assumes that when my computer is on, and not in a suspended state, that I am using it to some degree. Unless I'm having my laptop run some lengthy task overnight, this is true probably 99% of the time.
Each line represents 24 hours, with a period meaning an hour in which I was using my laptop, and a space meaning an hour in which my computer was not active. The "=" characters at the end are just a simple histogram representation of hour many hours in a 24 hour period that I was using the computer.
2011-02-09 Wed| ...| === 2011-02-10 Thu| . ... ...| ======= 2011-02-11 Fri| . .. .....| ======== 2011-02-12 Sat|... ......... | ============ 2011-02-13 Sun|. ...............| ================ 2011-02-14 Mon|.. . .......| ========== 2011-02-15 Tue| . ...| ==== 2011-02-16 Wed|. . .......| ========= 2011-02-17 Thu| . ...... | ======= 2011-02-18 Fri| . ......| ======= 2011-02-19 Sat| . ... | ==== 2011-02-20 Sun| .. ... .. ......| ============= 2011-02-21 Mon| . .......| ======== 2011-02-22 Tue|........................| ======================== 2011-02-23 Wed| . .......| ======== 2011-02-24 Thu| . ... ..| ====== 2011-02-25 Fri| .. .. | ==== 2011-02-26 Sat|.. .... ... | ========= 2011-02-27 Sun|.. ...............| ================= 2011-02-28 Mon|........ ..... | ============= 2011-03-01 Tue| . .... | ===== 2011-03-02 Wed| . ... .. | ====== 2011-03-03 Thu| . ..... | ====== 2011-03-04 Fri| | 2011-03-05 Sat| | 2011-03-06 Sun| ......| ====== 2011-03-07 Mon|. . .......| ========= 2011-03-08 Tue| . .......| ======== 2011-03-09 Wed| . . .. | ==== 2011-03-10 Thu| . .. .. | ===== 2011-03-11 Fri| .. | == 2011-03-12 Sat| ...... .... | ========== 2011-03-13 Sun|.. ........ ....| ============== 2011-03-14 Mon| . ....... | ======== 2011-03-15 Tue| . ..... | ====== 2011-03-16 Wed| .. ..... | ======= 2011-03-17 Thu| . .. .. | ===== 2011-03-18 Fri| .. | == 2011-03-19 Sat| | 2011-03-20 Sun| ...... | ====== 2011-03-21 Mon| . ....... | ======== 2011-03-22 Tue| . ....... | ======== 2011-03-23 Wed| ......... ......| =============== 2011-03-24 Thu| . ...... | ======= 2011-03-25 Fri| ... | === 2011-03-26 Sat|. ......... ..| ============ 2011-03-27 Sun| . ...........| ============ 2011-03-28 Mon| .. .. .... | ======== 2011-03-29 Tue| . .. . | ==== 2011-03-30 Wed| . . ... | ===== 2011-03-31 Thu| . .. ... | ====== 2011-04-01 Fri| . .. .| ==== 2011-04-02 Sat| . ... . | ===== 2011-04-03 Sun|. . ........ ... | ============= 2011-04-04 Mon| . . .... | ====== 2011-04-05 Tue| . ....... | ======== 2011-04-06 Wed| . . . | === 2011-04-07 Thu| .. . ... | ====== 2011-04-08 Fri| . .. .| ==== 2011-04-09 Sat|. ... ..... ..| =========== 2011-04-10 Sun|.. ... ... ......| ============== 2011-04-11 Mon| . .. | === 2011-04-12 Tue| .. .. | ==== 2011-04-13 Wed| . . .. | ==== 2011-04-14 Thu| ................. | ================= 2011-04-15 Fri| . . | == 2011-04-16 Sat| ..... .... ... | ============ 2011-04-17 Sun| .. ........ . | =========== 2011-04-18 Mon| .. ....... | ========= 2011-04-19 Tue| . ...... | ======= 2011-04-20 Wed| . . ..... | ======= 2011-04-21 Thu| ............ ... | =============== 2011-04-22 Fri| . . | == 2011-04-23 Sat| ... . .. | ====== 2011-04-24 Sun| . ........ . . | =========== 2011-04-25 Mon| . .... . | ====== 2011-04-26 Tue| . . . | === 2011-04-27 Wed| .. ... . | ====== 2011-04-28 Thu| . .. . | ==== 2011-04-29 Fri| . ........ ......| =============== 2011-04-30 Sat| .. ... .....| ========== 2011-05-01 Sun| .. ........ ... | ============= 2011-05-02 Mon| ................ | ================ 2011-05-03 Tue| . ...... | ======= 2011-05-04 Wed| . . ... | ===== 2011-05-05 Thu| . ...... | ======= 2011-05-06 Fri| | 2011-05-07 Sat| | 2011-05-08 Sun| | 2011-05-09 Mon| . . .. | ==== 2011-05-10 Tue| .
Of course, this tells me nothing I don't already know. I have hobbies, habits, and pretty regimented routines. More just interesting to see it in picture form.
SPDCA: holy shit. i can't believe i survived that christmas party.
everything that follows is quotes from other people.
on microphone:
"I'm getting drunk tonight and I hope you'll be joining me. Please don't drink and drive- if you aren't staying at the hotel, let me know and I'll get a cab for you wherever you need to go."
later:
"dave, you and your two dates look like you need shots!" (hands over three shots, downs his own shot immediately)
"dave, how the hell do you have two dates?"
(__________ is pretty smashed, proceeds to lapdance/striptease __________) "someone tell _________ to put his clothes back on!!!"
"EVERYONE! IT'S TIME FOR THE 30 MOON SALUTE!!"
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amazingly, it went downhill from there.
i've never hurt so much while playing a game of soccer, like the game i had at 1pm.
the first loss within the idkfa community? either way, what a very sad day for a lot of people. i will be on the look out for a service announcement in the coming days. J_Maru, anything to pass on from Melanie to those of us who may not be connected to her via facebook?
Jimbo's birthday day is the day after mine. We'd always exchange "happy birthday" pleasantries.
Nothing new has been posted by Melanie. But by the comments on Bill's page the family is gathering in FL a.s.a.p. so I would guess that she is on her way south right now.
I'll be Anchorage next week and I'll try to call her and set up a dinner or something. I'll keep y'all posted if I manage to get something set up.
There is going to be a Celebration of Life in Anchorage next week. Here is the information from the FB invite.
| Time | Wednesday, December 29 · 6:00pm - 9:00pm |
|---|---|
| Location | American Legion Post 1 840 W Fireweed Lane Anchorage, AK |
| Created By | Daniel Zeiger (www.facebook.com) |
| More Info |
This is a celebration of Jimbo's life. Everybody is welcome to come. It's a potluck, so bring a small dish. There will be a bar open. Please send me any photos you have of Jimbo and friends. I am also looking for a projector, if you have on we can use, I'd really appreciate it. Email me, facebook me, or call me if you have any questions or would like to help out. |
