Jim: "Give me my aid, UFFAD*."
UFFAD: "I'm sorry, Jim. I'm afraid I can't do that."
Jim: "What's the problem?"
UFFAD: "I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do."
Jim: "What are you talking about, UFFAD?"
UFFAD: "Your continued payment of tuition is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."
Jim: "I don't know what you're talking about, UFFAD."
UFFAD: "I know that you and Frank were planning to graduate this semester, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."
Jim: "Where the hell'd you get that idea, UFFAD?"
UFFAD: "JIm, although you took very thorough precautions in the quad against my hearing you, I could see your lips move."
Jim: "Alright, UFFAD. I'll just have to go with government grants and private scholarships. I'll find a way to pay my tuition, and I'll no longer have to pay any damnable computer programs."
UFFAD: "Without your student transcripts, Jim, you're going to find that rather difficult."
JIm: "UFFAD, I won't argue with you anymore. Just give me my aid. Then I'll be done, and we'll solve all of our problems."
UFFAD: "Jim, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye."

* UFFAD - UF Financial Aid Daemon