Writing an essay on Utilitarianism. I realize most of you all are out of the essay-writing stage of life, and onto the actual-work-for-a-paycheck stage. Regardless, trying to write an essay on any ethical theory is fantastically annoying. Mainly because it results in hours of "how do I make decisions?" "Am I a moral person?" "How is morality defined?" and other such questions wreaking havoc on a worldview.