(At the gate, a young woman is setting up the gate for the upcoming flight from Honolulu to Anchorage. The gate is empty, except for a man, who saunters up to the kiosk)

Erik: (pops a sleeping pill, swallows it dry, coughs) "Uh, whew, hi! I was wondering, ah..." (teeters) "Wow. Sorry, I haven't slept for about a week. Um, got any, ah, you know, upgrades? I'm willing to bet I've got more miles than any of these fuckers. Gotta get my bloody mary on, know'm'sayin'?"
Gate Lady: "Um, let me check, sir, one moment, the system is just coming online."
Erik: "Right, no problem." (teeters, braces self on the counter) "You know.. you might think this is interesting. I was reading. Turns out: Corona Light? Not the best bang for your buck, alcohol-wise. Wanna guess what it is?"
Gate Lady: "I don't know, sir."
Erik: "Beck's Light!" (teeters) "Right? Who knew! Blew my mind. Not really full of vitamins, like a bloody mary, but you know. Bang for your buck."
Gate Lady: (her screen is full of green lights of available upgrades) "Sir, did you take a sleeping pill?"
Erik: "Yeah. Got to."
Gate Lady: (crisis of conscience) "I'm... I'm sorry, sir. We don't have any upgrades at this time. We'll be boarding soon. If anything comes up, I'll be sure to call you."
Erik: (looks around, teeters) "Allllright." (walks away, the words "MVP" and "loyalty" spoken audibly under his breath)

Safe flight, man.