This subject seems especially relevant right now for a few reasons: a friend just broke up with his fiance, my own feelings on marriage and LTRs recently came into question, and just today I had a long talk with my mother about not only my own disinterest in marriage but in our generation's changing attitudes towards it.

What it comes down to is priority, because you can't always have it all, all the time. For some, settled family life is a high priority; furthermore, for some, their other life goals aren't mutually exclusive with a rooted family-style life. For some of us, though, it isn't feasible to have both a healthy family and a healthy career, and herein lies the "path taking" that you mentioned in some other post.

For me, my goals aren't compatible with settling down and starting a family, nor is that a high priority, so even though there are people in my life with whom I might like to pursue long term relations, those relationships are subject to my pursuing other goals. For you, something happened in your value system at some point that made you reassess your priorities; because doing the type of research you want to do and settling down in a long term relationship are things that can't happen in the same geographical location, you had to choose one.

Two last questions remain for me, though: first, who misses out? This is one of those either/or situations, which means that one side loses out. Is there an objective way to measure, or is the success of one's endeavor in this situation entirely dependent on each person's individual value systems?

Second, does it change? That is, although I don't want to be married or have kids or have a long term relationship that might root me down somewhere, will I see things differently in a year? Two? Ten? I think the answer here is probably "duh yes," but if it hasn't changed for me yet, will it? Is it just a matter of time before my biological clock goes and I get baby crazy? Can it work conversely too?