So I will entitle today on Kwajalein 'Pest Day'.

I think I've told Josh about how the skimmers are infested with creatures of all types, but for those who are not in the know: we installed skimmers here a couple of years back, which are housed in small wooden storage shelters (the dog houses). We turned them off back in March, and no one has touched them since. Today, I had to crack open a few to get the batteries out of them, and, holy fuck, life. Mike, you might want to stop reading here.

First thing was that every skimmer house has literally dozens of long-legged spiders enveloping everything in webbing. These spiders aren't too creepy, but you have to break through them to get anything out of the skimmer houses.

Furthermore, even to get in, you have to get past the large jumping spiders that have created nests under literally EVERY padlock. These fuckers are territorial, and were jumping at my face constantly. I even picked one up on my body somehow that rode with me on the cart for a bit until it jumped on my hand, then tried to web away by attaching an end to my wrist. Crazy fuckers.

Then, the cockroaches. Grabbed a box in one skimmer, cockroach flew out at my goddamn face. I fucking hate cockroaches.

Then, the rats. While these guys hide well, they leave their droppings EVERYWHERE. Isn't there some disease caused by inhaling rat shit?

Then, the lizards and geckos. These guys are everywhere, but they're actually rather adorable. They have this bizarro slinky run. But, never try to grab them, they just shed their tails like crazy (and the tail writhes around in super disgusting fashion). In two cases, geckos had laid eggs on the top of the door frame. I had no idea what they were (thought they were tiny bird eggs, about the size of a pinky nail), until a couple fell down and cracked. I went to grab one of the cracked eggs, and it literally EXPLODED into a fucking lizard as I touched it that did the slinky run away from me. Just insane.

Then, the flies. These guys are everywhere and impossible to kill, but at least they don't bite.

I figured the skimmer houses were a pretty sweet trail with pests, until I went to lay out on some chairs next to the public pool (to read). I get up and sit by a nearby table (to change position), when suddenly I am caught in a swarm of hornets. Note I am only in shorts, so much exposed flesh. So obviously I bail, about as fast as Josh would but minus the flailing. I look under the table and there are a dozen hornets just hanging out... and a nest in one of the cracks, that I LITERALLY RUBBED MY FUCKING LEG AGAINST. I have no idea how I wasn't stung. Fucking. Hornets.