Something a bit lighter...

There is well known within the Alaskan librarian community a specific patron. He calls various libraries and asks to have the librarian read him the list of Tom Clancy titles. And then to repeat it slower. Eventually it becomes obvious that he is "enjoying" this in a non-literary manner.

The librarians typically respond to this by hanging up on him and emailing the state librarian listserv. Over the years (he calls a few libraries over a few weeks, takes a few months off, reappears, etc) he has been reported to the state troopers. Librarians tell him that now. Personally I expect that this is not very high on the list of cases for the troopers to solve.

I guess this most recent time when he called Delta Junction he asked to be read a list of Stephen Hawking titles before the big finish with the Clancy.

No mail librarian has ever been asked this, so presumably he asks them a different cover story and calls until he gets a woman. A male Alaskan librarian made a youtube recording of himself reading the titles that could be played for this man.

Two conclusions: 1. The breadth of things to which people will pleasure themselves never ceases to amaze me. 2. Librarians and listservs and a little free time result in some amazing stuff.